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Millions Of Failures...

Years after, again surrounding, standing taller, staring at me but I can’t even look at them… The problems, the cause for old failures, now boiling up to form new vapors…

I thought I had won, but now I realized all my life till now I was avoiding them, where I thought I had overcome them but, the mirror has been cleaned by the tears and I see the ugly me…

I don’t even feel like getting up… Now What? What comes next? Which step to take?

Now I realize why some end up their life… where they were so lonely among all the lovely one… but all they are left with confusion and the bewilderment…

Where in this world full of answers… Bloody I am not able to understand the question of my life…  

So many experienced people all around but, now their experience and knowledge scare me where they don’t have option or opinion, rather judgement for my words…

Not that I am asking for the sympathy… I am bold enough to face the honesty and bluntness of the reality… From here on how and where things will lead is out of my sanity…

No matter, trying another way is something that needs to be thought of but how on earth, can I gather the courage to even execute that…

Rather, I think I should wait, be in this muck, for a bit and then contemplate on the things which have leads me to eat this shit…

I know, but there is a voice which comes over and speak, rather truth, that “you have failed the same way, then, - you planed again, and nothing will work, nothing has ever worked… it's your fate…”

Strange are these days, desireless, not even for those mere pleasure which were once the best entertainment… where even doing the worst if all things is at least of interest…

Collecting myself up from here to walk, is another of a challenge… rather lying down and let this earth eat me up everything will be managed…   

 

 

 

 

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